Funny Christmas Presents: Never too early to fill those stockings

1. Googly Eye Twerk Belt

The best Christmas presents are the funny Christmas presents. Make cardio fun again with the Googly Eyes Twerk Belt! You can make em’ all laugh AND get a work out at the same time. Not to mention, if you are actually interested in honing those precious twerking skills… listening carefully to the sound of the eyes while you twerk will actually make you a better twerk-er. One-size-fits-all but let’s spare Grandma this holiday season!

2. Wine Rack

This comfortable sports bra sports it all. You get a 25 ounce flask along with your workout comfort and what else better than wine to fill up that flask ? 

3. Bacon Scented Dryer Sheets

This is actually a box to put other stuff in – Like ya’ know, other gifts other than dryer sheets that smell like bacon. It’s a hilarious ploy; a decoy if you will. The box also contains funny references to other companies and products that make just as little sense as the one you see here. Definitely a great way to conceal a gift AND it’s hilarious because who doesn’t want bacon scented dryer sheets?!

4. Blinker Fluid

Everyone knows someone who is low on blinker fluid. Seriously, just about everyone I know is fresh out of this stuff. Some people say blinkers don’t need fluid; but I’ll bet those same folks will contend that Ol’ St. Nick is scarcely in need of cookies and milk after visiting a few billion houses. Get em’ Max Strength this holiday season. Max Strength fluid for Max Strength laughter. This is the holy grail of funny christmas presents. Want to make it even funnier ? NSFW: Fill it with Captain Morgan so they can drown their sorrows after they realize its a non-functional criticism of their intelligence.

5. Rubber Band Gun

If you can’t have fun with a rubber band gun, what can you have fun with ? But seriously, this is the cheapest way to have a good time at any age. Keep in mind that if you run out of ammo you can literally get more at the Dollar Tree. Oh and this product gets extra cool points for sporting the shape of a Desert Eagle. BenGay not included, so we suggest ice cubes for all the mini-bruises you’ll likely sustain as a victim of this awesome and thoughtful gift.

6. Pumpkin Pie Hat

We’re probably going to get a lot of trash talk for including this Pie Hat and it is well-deserved. You are eyeballing a no-killer all-filler inclusion in the Top 50. As a matter of fact, if you see us and you don’t pie us in the face, we’d be surprised. If you get this, just wear it to Christmas dinner, don’t actually get this as a gift; no seriously.. this one is really dumb.

7. Rubber Chicken

Yet another well-placed bomb toward our already scathed reputation. Look, we sell TV Stands, so we can definitely promote rubber chickens okay? It’s the oldest gag gift slash object of innuendo that most people even know of. As a matter of fact, I think this was the first thing they made out of rubber once they figured out how to make rubber. It comes complete with squeaker. If you buy this for someone, make sure to put it in a giant box with lots paper. Oh and don’t tell them who gave you the idea.

8. Dehydrated Water

Let me know when you’re done laughing. This exists. A little known secret about this product is it can actually produce an infinity of gallons of anything, even water! You simply continue placing whatever you have inside the can and taking it out and then putting more in. It’s completely ridiculous and that is why it made our list.

9. Earwax Candle Kit

So I couldn’t help but notice that you were still here reading these. If I were you I’d just look at the pictures and eventually buy something, but no, you are taking the time to read these and that is incredibly ‘something’ of you, we just don’t know what. Perhaps you are a glutton for punishment as we are. You keep on reading and we’ll keep on punishing with products like this fantastical Earwax Candle Kit that comes with a Wax Extraction Cap! Don’t just buy one when you can buy twelve at exactly the same price. By the way this is just an awesome empty box that will make the recipient crack up. Funny Christmas Presents, or gross Christmas presents, you be the judge.

10. 12,000 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle

Someone, somewhere decided that jigsaw puzzles were too easy. Luckily this isn’t a puzzle at all, it’s just another decoy box to put in your real gift. You’re real awesome gift that you put a lot of thought into, because that’s the kind of person you are. The thoughtful kind.

11. My First Fire

More funny gift boxes. There can never be enough and you’ll be glad to know that this isn’t the last one. This will draw laughter from a rock. So for all of you with rocks in your family, get to clickin’ because these things are going to go fast. Again, just in case you missed it, this is an empty box to put a real gift in. A hilarious empty box.

12. Pet Butler Vest for Animals

I mean… come on. Isn’t this great? This is one of my favorite boxes because the laughter spans all age groups and it really doesn’t even matter if the recipient has a pet or not, although it definitely does help. We suggest getting a photo of the recipient’s pet and gluing it to the outside of the box to personalize it. Or use tape. Or nail it. Or whatever.

13. iArm Forearm Mount

Does anyone remember the parent or the grandparent who transitioned from “tech hater” to “tech addict” – perhaps all of them? Make a statement and get a bunch of laughs with this fake gift box. We suggest putting a brand new iPad in this box for Dad. Either that or something else. This is seriously great though, give this one some consideration.

14. Crib Dribbler

For the expecting, the unexpected, and the experienced this one is sure to cause some commotion around the Christmas Tree. There’s little baby drinking his or her milky just like a gerbil. How cute and inappropriate can these gift ideas get? Another fake gift box for real gifts to hide in. Classic.

15. Go the F*ck to Sleep Book

So this is an actual book. There’s nothing fake here. Kid’s love bedtime stories and parents love the effect they have on kids: to gently knock them out and silence them for several hours. I have no idea why this kid is sleeping with a family of tigers, honestly that is terrifying and very foolish of little Tommy-Purply-Pants, but whatever floats your boat bud, A-Whim-Away bro. 

16. Tiny Hands

Honestly, this is fun. Tiny hands. You could wear these to the Family Christmas and open all your presents with them. You can give really small high-fives for great gifts and mini-smacks for not-so-greats. Most importantly though if you do wear these to Christmas, I’d suggest going out and buying some little red mittens for them; aw man, I gotta do that. Another cheap laugh.

17. FML Button

A spin on the easy button. The easy button actually promotes itself as a solution, whereas the FML button is like, “there’s no way to fix this so if I press this button and a little old lady pops out with a samurai sword made of shiny pink plastic, oh well cause I’m screwed anyways.” Aka, the hail mary. Not-to-mention it’d be a ‘hail’ of a hail mary gift. Definitely not going to be for kids for obvious potentially obnoxious reasons. Buy this with Tylenol.

18. Peter Heater

Promoted as the cape for your snake. Right. Look I’ll be honest, I just included this for shock value. If you’re shocked, hooray. [ waves lame flag unenthusiastically ] – if not? Well shucks. This is another one that is not really all that funny, but I mean, if I found it in my stocking I’d probably laugh a little bit. So if you want a little bit of laugh buy this. Also notice the incredible marketing on the bottom right. “Where is yours?” – Wow. How compelling.

19. Fart Relief Mask

You have to be clever with your gag gift choices. Obviously. I mean, you have to figure out how these things might play into people’s current situations. Like, if your husband or wife passes off toxic fumes in the wee hours of the morning, this could potentially be an inside-joke kind of thing. Nah’ mean? This one in particular as well as, um.. most of the others? – are, well… lame without context. Buy it now.

20. Emergency Shart Snatchers

There’s kind of an unspoken scale with these things. If the gift is funny enough, you don’t need any context. I think this one has enough shock value to be funny regardless of the recipients situation. This is one that can make the whole family laugh. Definitely keep an open mind about who will be attending though as this is probably not an appropriate thing to share with anyone under 13.

21. Emergency Underpants

This is great as a light-hearted joke for someone who may have recently had an accident, or perhaps someone who is getting older and isn’t categorically depressed over their age being pointed out by stupid gifts. This is worth a chuckle. Gift Idea: Use this in conjunction with the best gift for the individual. In a situation where you got an individual more than one gift and one of them happens to be so good they just might crap their pants. Let them open this first and then give them the real gift. Creating memories is fun.

22. Unicorn Meat

Perfect for the foodie. Doubly perfect for the foodie who is also into rainbows and unicorns, but simply being a foodie is enough. We covered an earlier product called unicorn farts and I think this might actually be a bit funnier due to the fact that it looks a lot like a real food product. This could also be a great tin to place a real gift in.

23. Unicorn Mask

The epitome of funny christmas presents. Believe it or not the horse version of this mask was one of the most popular products on ebay for a long long time. The unicorn version will also in my opinion become a timeless classic. Great for kids and adults, it doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas per say; but it is definitely full of shock and laugh value and a worthy Christmas gift for just about anyone. Also another  great self-gift idea to wear to the gathering.

24. That’s What She (Said) Glass

Simple and brilliant, great gift for the high school or college-goer. Anyone who drinks beer and likes funny things will be able to appreciate this. “That’s what she said,” has definitely become a hallmark of the culture in just about every circle. Don’t be shy to venture out of bounds on the recipient, it’s another classic gift.

25. Maybe You Touched Your Hand Sanitizer

In a world full of taboo dressed in euphemism, it’s always refreshing when your toiletry items are just a little bit less politically correct. We know why you use Hand Sanitizer and so do they. We’re not going to play games anymore. It is what it is and says what it says. Put er’ there pal ? Use this. Ah. That’s a firm shake you got there. A firm and very clean shake. Watch the age on this one.

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